For some reason I am feeling really down today. (

I just want to cry so bad, I've been taking my meds but they don't seem to be helping here lately.

I wish I could find more to take up my time, all I have right now is school and Bakah and now I'm selling Avon. But I can't seem to stay busy enough. I really want a car and job, that would take away the extra time that I have and I would be very happy about it. Tired, but happy!

I guess I feel like if I'm not super busy all the time then I'm being lazy and I hate that. And my mom doesn't help, she's constantly calling me lazy, and yet she doesn't want me to get a job because it will interfere with our food stamps and medicaid. So I'm not really sure what's going on right now.

I just hate the thoughts that I have when I this depressed they scare me and I wish they would stop.

I guess I'm going to jump off of here and go to bed that always helps.